We need to unlearn the toxic and damaging messages we’ve been programmed to believe by feminism. Here is the truth that we need to replace the lies with:
1. Men and women are not natural enemies. We are أولياء (awliyaa’) for one another.
2. You are a woman, not a man. This is not an insult.
3. Your femininity is your superpower. Don’t smother it.
4. Masculine men like feminine women. Feminine women like masculine men. Don’t be androgynous.
5. You need a man. (Just as men need women.)
6. Men are not trash.
7. You cannot do everything a man can do. (And neither can a man do everything a woman can do.)
8. Men and women have very different, but complementary, roles. This is a good thing. It’s called gender roles.
9. Do not be a modern woman of the “strong, independent” variety. Be a traditional woman.
10. Men and women don’t need to compete with one another. We complete one another.
11. Marriage is important. The family is important.
12. Being a homemaker is an amazing and important job.
13. Motherhood is important. Raising children is not just crucial work, but also incredibly empowering. You are molding the next generation of humans. What more power do you want?
14. Don’t choose career over family. Choose being a wife and mother over being a corporate slave.
15. Show your husband respect and love, in that order. (He will show you love and respect, in that order.)
16. As a wife, you are not in charge. Neither are you your husband’s “partner.” You certainly give your input, but your husband has headship.
17. Marriage is not a 50-50 egalitarian partnership of two leaders. Your husband is the leader. Sit back and enjoy it.
18. Having contempt for your man is the fastest way to break down a relationship. Don’t sabotage your own marriage.
19. Trust your husband (if he is an upright, strong Muslim who has taqwa). He’s not out to get you.
20. The patriarchy is not the root of all evil. The Islamic paradigm places the man as قوام, qawwam, and مسؤول, responsible or held accountable, on the level of nation, society, and family. This is not to harm women, but to benefit and protect them.
Don’t follow the “advice” of feminists on love, men, relationships, marriage, family, motherhood, or really anything. You will be sacrificing your own happiness and serenity. And it’s all lies.